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current muse :: |
2004-07-28 :: 8:01 p.m. :: because I'll want to remember... i get married in two and a half weeks. and life is crazy. this is to be expected of course. and the wedding stuff itself isn't that big a deal, really. not anywhere as bad as most people make it out to be. of course, i'm probably not most people. we're keeping it small, and using a rental company who'll set up a lot of the necessary chairs, tables, linens, and a few other decorations. today, i feel okay. it changes daily, hourly. one minute i'm happy and loving it all, the next i'm overwhelmed. but that's primarily because of how we're doing all of this. classes, work, wedding, field semester, job, driving cross country, moving house... plus the whole relationship time stuff and mentally adjusting to the idea of being married? forever? yeah. it's crazy. but the light at the end of the tunnel is getting closer and closer, and the weight is starting to come off. we haven't had classes this week and i've been able to work on our list of stuff to do some, which helps. narrowing stuff down. random stuff on the list too - buying CD's for fall classes, making hair and nail appointments, choosing the wording on the ceremony and vows, making sure to get a Hepatitis B and yellow fever shot, finishing pre-marital coursework, cleaning out the car, mailing a child sponsorship check to cover the next six months, taking pictures of deer in valley forge park before we go, booking hotel rooms for the drive cross-country, calling a few people in costa rica to set up field semester stuff, uploading pictures to send people before we leave here, cleaning out my desk at work, deciding on where we want flowers, what kind of flowers, and placing the order... it's a long list. but we're working on it. i'm having ramen for dinner. the time for good food isn't so much now. ;) don't know what we'd be doing right now without tim's mom - let's just say it's great to have a research librarian helping you out with your wedding planning! have to archive this - because when i'm old and have forgotten, i won't remember when people tell me - i actually went fake tanning!! my dress is strapless and when i last tried it on i realized that i had bathing suit lines from our recent trip to florida that were rather apparent. so i bought a little package deal at hollywood tans and went through the first of five sessions. i actually burned myself a little in 7 minutes! let's just say that a few areas that don't normally get much sun are a little pink right now!! ;) tim laughs at me. some days, i laugh at me too. i finally got job stuff with geneva figured out. they will be extending me a formal offer, which i should recieve by email within the next week or two. am glad but don't have much emotional energy to be excited about that anymore. my excitement sort of fizzled on that when they backtracked for a few days and were trying to make me come to the east coast, which i refused to do. good old fitz talked some sense into daniel though, and we got it all sorted out. i wish my mom and sister could be more involved in wedding planning. with the wedding in idaho it really just doesn't work for them to do too much. i have my sister looking for hairstyles and my mom helping me out with food... and they were around when i tried on dresses... but that's about it! kind of sad. but i will get to live near them some next year, which will be cool. a few hours drive but an easy weekend trip. here comes the ramen... delivered to my by my cute waiter! ;) am very much excited about the whole getting married thing. the permanence scares me sometimes, but the support and unconditionality of the whole venture is highly appealing. plus i'm crazy in love with the guy, which helps! it's been interesting so far for both of us to get used to the whole 'emotions' thing. we're both highly rational and the idea that we could actually use emotions to help us make real and rather significant decisions has been kind of strange. as has trust - which has probably been the source of all of our (rather inconsequential) conflict to this point. since trust develops over time, and can't be rushed, it sometimes seems that that is one area we're lacking in. but it's only an issue in the little things. everyday stuff in which we're both just used to doing it our way, since that's how we've always done it. letting someone else pick how to do things, when "I" know how to do it right can be a frustrating thing. but it's all part of the learning curve, i suppose. well, off to pick some vows! and onwards she goes... |